Day 706 I suppose arguing.

I started mediating between my squabbling parents because I supposed they will start arguing any moment. 

Later, because I already was expecting fight, also in moments when there was no fight, I was within my mind and body prepared to eliminate the negative energy of fight. 

Prepared and Acted positive friendly and kindly. Adapted to my idea that I was responsible to take out the energy of quarrel of the air. 

I realize see and understand that I was adapted to my assumption What generated the energy of Threat In the form of quarrel, that quarrel May be present suddenly and shows his face. 

When this idea pops-up up in my conscious mind then at the same time I remember a image sitting at a table during Christmas. My parents were in the kitchen preparing the Christmas dinner. With every sound I am on my guard and prepared for the fight that will come. But in that moment they didn't Had started arguing.

I realize see and understand that I am prepared for, also in moments when they didn't had started arguing, a fight that will come soon, I'm already ready 'prepared' I am responsible for to take the energy of quarrel of the air.

Arguing: exchange or express diverging or opposite views, typically in a heated or angry way.

"the two will start arguing in the kitchen soon". 

Sounding: Prepared, a Pair, parents, parenting, who showed me: ''we are always fighting each other.''

Selfforgiveness 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I Adapted to my idea that I was responsible to take out the energy of quarrel of the air. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming that quarrel may be present and pops-up suddenly and at any time, quarrel shows his face. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience the energy of expectation that quarrel will shows his face. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I was adapted to my assumption energy of Threat In the form of quarrel May be present suddenly and  shows his face. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I prepare myself for the fight that will come soon. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I preprogrammed myself During arguing or quarrels I am responsible to bring back peace again. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I got used at the energy of quarrel. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself during quarrels I have to bring back peace again. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am waiting for to bring back peace again. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am waiting for peace because I am extremely sensitive to the fact that I am not sure There won't be another fight. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself expecting there will be a fight. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself I am used that fight will follow. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am used that fight will follow. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself So perhaps I am subconsciously longing for quarrels, So that I can fulfill my role of: 'It's my responsibility that I can restore good peace.' 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed It's my responsibility that I can restore good peace that's why I am Subconsciously focused on my experience I want Solving my expected problems In the form of disagreement, disapproval, failure and quarrels. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the energy of conflict What generated between: 'my expectation quarrel and my desire for peace'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because of 'my expectation quarrel and my desire for peace', can I give myself Importance and responsibilities Measuring myself with the role of and wearing the jackets of caregiver, mediator, soldier or peacemaker. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted to be ready to mediate and prevent supposed argue.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am already ready to prevent supposed arguing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I Expect they will start arguing soon, On their typically heated and angry way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I see at the image when I was sitting at the table during Christmas, that I am expect, waiting at  them to start arguing soon on their typically heated and angry way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed thinking, Assuming: 'I am responsible to take the energy of quarrel out of the air.' 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because I am responsible take the energy of quarrel of the air I Was helpful to control injustice. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I started partipating in the carves created by the sound and energy of quarrel. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I started partipating in the carves, created by the sound and energy generated with quarrel, which my parents showed me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I focus at signs In my current environment that reminds me at sounds and the energy, generated with quarrel. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming It is my role and responsibility that I bring back peace as soon as my parents argue. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as soon as the energy of disagreement pops-up in my mind, that it is and will be my responsibility to stop it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as soon as the arguments as thoughts about disagreement pops-up in my mind it's because my body Stiffened. 

If and when my body Stiffened, then I Stop myself and Breath. 

I realize see and understand that My body stiffens due to specific sounds within my mind I expect my assumed quarrel. 

I realize see and understand that I always are prepared for the fight that will come soon. 

I realize see and understand that As a child I was longing peace and tranquility so I prepared myself for the fight that will come soon, This is because I mediated between my squabbling parents to bring back peace. 

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