DALKondersteuning

I realize see and understand that the reason for all my intentions, anger, frustration and irritation showing me something that reflects me my backchats, assumptions or motivation.  If I assume that you are critical it corresponds with the fact that I experience your behavior as criticism.  Animosity has his Basis that lies in the struggle that I have seen. What I Saw have provided my meaning.  What I saw in the people in my environment. My interpretation of  Drunkards and swearing frustration they showed to me. What I have accepted and allowed as such. As my reality.  How can I speak about my righteousness or sincerity with these examples that I describe as hypocrite. Lol. For context please see my post about animosity .  Selfforgiveness  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I was annoyed with drunkards.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I became annoyed because of people which sho...

I feel irritated when T ask me something to do. I feel irritation when I ask T why T never visits me and why T doesn't answer me when I ask T.  I realize, see and understand that I feel irritated when I ask about T's Planning about a specific event, because T tells me 'I have arranged everything To manage this event in the right direction. Then, a week later T tells me that T did not Has organized What needs to be Done! I don't know what I can do more than asking questions, asking for answers, asking for an agreement to figure out what T wants.  Link picture I realize see and understand last Week I was in a shop and asked a woman who looked at me 'madam am I standing too close?' This in connection with the  applicable social distance measure.  She reacted irritated and said: 'you don't have to ask me this question you know the answer by yourself.' She was frustrated that I came to close and that she needed to step aside. In a way madam ...

Lately I realize, see and understand that I react annoyed. The annoying which covers my critizice. The critique which covers unfulfilled desire. The desire covers my expectation to receive positive attention. The not received positive attention from people who has to give it to me, Justified me 'being allowed to criticize others'. Today I said good morning to a passer-by on the street. Then I said: 'do you don't say anything back when I say goodmorning to you, wherein I behaved slightly annoyed!' She answered back: 'but I did you did not hear me.' Oeps!  Selfforgiveness.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that the voice within my voice told me she did not say goodmorning to me.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I assume because my mind voice tells me, which justified my annoyingly reaction.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I see that I Lately react annoyed.  I forgi...

Realization comes over time. When reading blogs from fellow Destonians . Pick out, just one or two words which can brings back memories in mind. As assumtions or expectation.  I realize see and understand For a long time I desired for apologies, which I was thinking that the one's I was longing apologies from Deliberately postponed to give me those sorry vindications. I realize see and understand because they did not, they did not showed me unconditional Support. That was the reason I started thinking I'm not worthy enough to receive apologies. In the art work above you see the spaghetti of thoughts, conclusions, emotions and my with relief fulfilled writing. Written with green ink from an orange pen.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that someone who I blamed for something that person did not what I wanted him to do the way I expected. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I did not get apologies as the way I expecte...

When I think that I get critique, normally as a automatic conscious reaction I apologize myself because I defend myself against the other person's arguments.  I realize see and understand when I defend myself I give energy, pay attention to and accept the view of the person. I also realize see and understand that critique is a form of attention where I got used to. The act of defending myself symbolizes my need to justify my actions, beliefs and desires in my daily life. Perhaps actions where I stand for.  Defending  picture.  Because I do not like to receive critique, this energy I am familiar with, I hate it. That I hate this energy is off course I react because I'm familiar with the experience and energy of hate. Otherwise I couldn't recognize and react as it. Because I got used too this accumulated energy of Hate.  For instance in the moment When I receive a text message, I assign my meaning to the content of the message. A message I can assign t...