Day 626 Grudge, useful stolen info.

My quest is to produce a means for us to observe ourselves and to choose whether or not this behaviour of defining ourselves with past of mind is serving us. 

Being who I am shows me that by clearing my creativity and myself from the infection of the past (which we can call viruses), allows me to have presence of mind, the experience and expression of myself in every moment of now (now operating wholly). 

What stops

us from being fully creative

beings? Must be what we are

pre-occupied

with? We can only express 

what we are occupied with 

which is the 

thought pictures which we 

have of ourselves and our 

world. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to a grudge and thus become spiteful toward humans in my world, where I have preconcieved ideas and beliefs that they are going to hurt me and thus i need to protect myself and thus I say fuck it, I will be on my own and I just don’t like people, there nasty and mean. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I hold on to a grudge, the idea which I developed, my belief that I am governed, dominated by an external authority, which subjects me to guidelines, Patriarche submission, the meaning which I experience in myself as my internal conflict. 

Under the iceberg, under the surface! 

Imagine I suppress my own nasty and mean behavior but are there also other people which are nasty and mean? 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I suppres my own nasty and mean behavior, my selfhate, manifest by my idea I am not Important , which is true because my importance is all about me and not what's best for All Life as Oneness and Equality is Meant. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my motivation is to manifest a world of Oneness and Equality and because of the Power of and influence of money I have preconcieved ideas and beliefs that people are going to hurt me and thus i need to protect myself because they share different opinions. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking I have, I need to feel happy, Attractive, rich, important, respected the ideas which I had in mind as goals Which I haven't reached, ideas which constructed the borders of my identity. The I want to reach ideas, my Ideal, construct of Seperation, which I have not reached yet. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I failed because I did not reached my goals, as a form of identity, which I used to impress people in my world, improving that I am worthy enough to spent a lot of time with. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that because I did not reached my goals, I failed so I am not worthy to spend time with. But the question is should I spend my time with others? 

I realize see and understand that I am not nasty and mean.

I realize see and understand that others also can contact me if they want to. 

I realize see and understand that there also are trustful people. 

I realize see and understand That my inner language of lack makes me focus at lack. This inner focus at Lack is my inner experience of LACK. This inner experience of LACK makes me the Lack personality, the victim and the drama personality which allows itself to justify its inner experience of LACK in moments where others gave me not the needed attention (where my father also did not got the attention he needed) which one needs, or longing for. And instead one will become A savior personality or the victim or the Blamer personality who will feel anger when people neglect its needs. 

I realize see and understand that This is the story of my mind life and was the story of my fathers mind. I remember him as a failure. Many things went different as hoped. 

But all this personality resonance within our mind, how is it possible that it exists in the first place, the meaning of words, the meaning of the word as thoughts? The language of blame, justification, victimization, warriors and Rescuers, the saviors of our environment and world, why does separation and ownership of land and its sources belong to institutions and a the happy few? Why do we as Inhabitants, not the owners, of the earth except this? 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in these ideas and beliefs I have of others - be distracted and suppress my own nasty and mean behavior, meaning I give to others in my reality because underneath it all I feel unworthy and like I am not lovable, a failure. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I distract myself and lost track of my innocence Beingness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I allow institutions to control the world, that the control of institutions is Supported by politicians. 

If and when I am longing for the support as promised, I Stop myself and Breath. 

I realize see and understand that Politicians promise a lot (in my mind circulates my desire for the unfulfilled promise to receive unconditional support) when they need our vote, but the money Generated from the earth's natural resources, stays with the happy few, the ones who control the world and its politicians. But now the World talks about racism not about the daily dying children, they still are Dying daily from hunger. Where are the happy few generate their power from? Once they are criticized you have to deal with their narcissistic sick minds. But we can't blame them because we allows them going on with filling up their pockets with cash flow. The dead of civilization started with the money issue, institutions and the happy do not contributing, still walking their tax avoidance. I discovered that the economy as we have it wasn't a normal natural way of trading, but a specific design not in the best interest of all. But in this judgment I giving it Power. 

So again, I ask myself - whose awareness are we presenting as our own during the formative years of our life? Our present situation will always have the uncanny look of what we have experienced and copied in our past. Our minds then are occupied with our past, which makes a new experience difficult to assimilate. 

The Meaning - occupied, something that's occupied is being used or is unavailable. If the sign on the restroom door says occupied, it means there's someone in there and you're just going to have to wait. 

So When our mind is occupied, assimilate new experience, understand and create, especially if it does not fit in with our (the environment) definition of ourselves as we have decided and accepted it to be as a world as well as a thought and mind picture of ourselves. 

Our behaviour, in relation to our environment or society and in relation to our health, abundance, happiness, relationships, balance, experiences, expressions and everything else we experience or observe around ourselves, is thus defined, expressed and created by ourselves BASED on our past mind which is now our accepted definition of who we are. 

This will be the norm (form) of our society who has been following the sins (signs, pictures, examples) of the fathers (previous environment) for generations or a long time. 

At this point, in observing that we are definitely not the individuals we  

assume ourselves to be, more often than not raises a feeling of hopelessness and inadequacy that inevitably brings the question - then what is the quest I am on? Why am I here? What is the purpose of life?  

Start Development your Self creativity.