Day 722 I'm useless.
I'm useless was the first thing were I was thinking about when I woke up this morning. I realize see and understand this backchat is about 'I don't have a clear goal in mind.'
Dictionary: unusable, useless, unserviceable, inefficient, refuse, good-for-nothing, purposeless, ineffectual, ineffective.
With no goal I am 'ineffectual'. That's why I am unusable 'good-for-nothing'. For context please see a previous post.
Good-for-nothing: 'a person who is lazy and not helpful or useful'. Unpleasant people in general.
User: a person who uses a relationship with someone only in order to get some advantage for themselves. Because I am thinking I am useless I don't experience a connection with others.
I realize see and understand if and when I'm thinking I'm useless then I am only showing concern about my own needs and interests.
I realize see and understand I'm again a alcohol user since a couple of months. Since Yesterday I have bowel problems and this morning I thought I am useless. What's the connection?
I realize see and understand perhaps then it's useful to look at the point if alcohol is useless for me to use again. See my next post.
Selfforgiveness
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thin I have no goal in mind therefore I am ineffectual.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking because I am ineffectual that's why I am useless.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I blame myself because I don't have a clear goal in mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself if the word useless pops-up within my mind, then I subordinate myself physically.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within my mind I also depend on the word uselessness which Inextricably is connected with the meaning of uselessness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I connect the energy of negativity when I am thinking about the word/meaning of useless.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I think about useless I physically experience the energy of uselessness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I physically experience the energy of uselessness Like pain in my lower abdomen and lower back.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I also experience this physical pain in my lower abdomen and lower back when hearing noise pollution.
If and when I am inextricably connected with the meaning of my word useless, then I Stop myself and Breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself if I'm thinking I'm useless then I'm not concerned about others.
If and when I am think I'm useless, then I Stop myself and Breath. If and when I think I'm useless then I don't need to be concerned about the meaning with which the other is inextricably linked.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am more concerned about my fact that I am useless.
If and when the fact that I am useless pops-up in my mind, then I Stop myself and Breath.
If and when I am Inseparable linked with I'm worthless than I allow myself to behave like I am shit.
If and when I behave like shit it's because I assume I am useless.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I Abuse the word unusable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I created a relationship with my assumption that I am unusable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming what's unusable don't need to be responsible.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming I am unusable and respectless.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking my life is useless.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself if I'm assuming I am useless then it's not in my advantage to start a new job, relationship, hobby or therapy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking it's not in my advantage.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed thinking I'm useless 'worthless'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that the energy of being useless keeps me away and 'stands in between' from what can be valuable.
Will be continued.
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