Day 722 I'm useless.

I'm useless was the first thing were I was thinking about when I woke up this morning. I realize see and understand this backchat is about 'I don't have a clear goal in mind.'

Dictionary: unusable, useless, unserviceable, inefficient, refuse, good-for-nothing, purposeless, ineffectual, ineffective. 

With no goal I am 'ineffectual'. That's why I am unusable 'good-for-nothing'. For context please see a previous post. 

Good-for-nothing: 'a person who is lazy and not helpful or useful'. Unpleasant people in general. 

Usera person who uses a relationship with someone only in order to get some advantage for themselves. Because I am thinking I am useless I don't experience a connection with others. 

I realize see and understand if and when I'm thinking I'm useless then I am only showing concern about my own needs and interests.

I realize see and understand I'm again a alcohol user since a couple of months. Since Yesterday I have bowel problems and this morning I thought I am useless. What's the connection? 

I realize see and understand perhaps then it's useful to look at the point if alcohol is useless for me to use again. See my next post. 

Selfforgiveness 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thin I have no goal in mind therefore I am ineffectual. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking because I am ineffectual that's why I am useless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I blame myself because I don't have a clear goal in mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself if the word useless pops-up within my mind, then I subordinate myself physically. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself within my mind I also depend on the word uselessness which Inextricably is connected with the meaning of uselessness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I connect the energy of negativity when I am thinking about the word/meaning of useless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I think about useless I physically experience the energy of uselessness. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I physically experience the energy of uselessness Like pain in my lower abdomen and lower back. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I also experience this physical pain in my lower abdomen and lower back when hearing noise pollution. 

If and when I am inextricably connected with the meaning of my word useless, then I Stop myself and Breath. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself if I'm thinking I'm useless then I'm not concerned about others. 

If and when I am think I'm useless, then I Stop myself and Breath. If and when I think I'm useless then I don't need to be concerned about the meaning with which the other is inextricably linked. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am more concerned about my fact that I am useless. 

If and when the fact that I am useless pops-up in my mind, then I Stop myself and Breath. 

If and when I am Inseparable linked with I'm worthless than I allow myself to behave like I am shit. 

If and when I behave like shit it's because I assume I am useless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I Abuse the word unusable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I created a relationship with my assumption that I am unusable. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming what's unusable don't need to be responsible. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming I am unusable and respectless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking my life is useless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself if I'm assuming I am useless then it's not in my advantage to start a new job, relationship, hobby or therapy. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking it's not in my advantage. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed thinking I'm useless 'worthless'. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that the energy of being useless keeps me away and 'stands in between' from what can be valuable. 

Will be continued. 

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