Day 624 mind bias.

Historically, the term cuckold refers to a man who was unknowingly cheated on by his wife. Don’t get too hung up on that, though. Please see previous blog for context. 

I did, so for me the unknowingly cheating is a big issue for me. My assumption resonates with my inner turmoil of insecureness to trust. That's why I want to be around, and I want to achieve that I can check my partner, if it's true what is being told, promissed and committed. I think because of my insecurities to trust, the goals of commitment are negative charged. The risk is include, manifest by my idea, women are cheating, they do not take care for my securenes, they behave indifferent. 'They', is biased, based at my idea (the idea of alcohol came up now during writing) the insecureness to trust. I realize see and understand that using, the use of Alcohol let me feel secure.

Link

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I used Alcohol as a medicine to feel free instead freezing before I talked with a woman. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I did not experienced confident before Approaching a woman.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming Approaching a woman was risky.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking Approaching a woman is risky 'because' She will ignore my need.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I was thinking a woman will abuse me because she misses the point of understanding. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking and thus expecting 'instead understanding woman will Approach me with the energy of Indifference'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself lately I received a phone call from a woman who instead asked me blamed me for what I told her was not true she said, then experienced the energy of anger because she reacted disrespectful which I associate with the energy of indifferent and indeterminacy. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I was longing for benovelence instead spite because of the critize I was experiencing and therefore expected. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I manifested the idea of spite within my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself before I was thinking to approach a woman I freezes because I participate into the energy of spite. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I manifested the meaning of spite as a way one would try to hurt, annoy or offend me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I was, instead spite, longing for kindness, benovelence instead critize. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I was overwhelmed by the energy of critique, comparing myself with the risk of making faults and behave in a disappointing way. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted and allowed myself comparing myself with the risk of making faults and behave in a disappointing way because I was desiring for kindness and praise. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking 'I will never achieve what I want to receive' praise from others, means they have to express warm approval or admiration,but instead I expected indifferent behavior. 

If and when I experience because I expect indifferent reactions I Stop myself and Breath. 

I realize see and understand that I expect An approach filled with the energy of harm, Hardship And Lack of Benevolence from others and Instead I Desire for the unconditional Support of Kindness. 

I realize see and understand Compersion is the flipside of jealousy; it’s the happiness you feel seeing your partner happy, happy instead of indifferent,which M showed me mostly, which I tried to fix. Save M, stop showing me the energy of indefferent. I wanted to see M Happy. 

I commit myself walk proces. For information to develop skills to investigate your own needs And the origin of your desires, experiences, motivation, memories and what's Best for all life, see this Link. 

Thanks for your time, 

it,s All Gonna Play Out Either Way!