Day 690 devalued.

In my previous post I described my expectation, my concern before I contribute, already experience the energy of rejection As the result, the outcome of my contribution. 

When you come into contact with someone who engages in splitting, you may feel threatened by how easily or quickly they can idealize or demonize you or other people for no apparent reason.

I realize see and understand when I was reading These words I remembered my experiences with people in my life which behaved this way and always when they spoke Devaluing stuff about others that I experienced this As strange and Hypocrite. 

I realize see and understand that I want to achieve and Develop healthy self-care and being not overwhelmed of my inner turmoil and experience of Idealize and devalue, and instead of narcissistic behavior I want to develop anti-narcissism behavior. 

Realization 
I realize see and understand that I accepted a personality, A pattern wherein I experience unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by the alternation of extraordinary idealization and devaluation.

To make someone or something seem to be of less value or importance. I was thinking D Picked me out And provided me with undeserved negative treatment or guilt. I experienced the energy of disapproval, my achievement Was devalued. After and before the positive work that I had done, this experience has expanded, then enlarged because of my belief at the end I will always receive a negative reaction.

Splitting: from Idealization to Devaluation. 

Selfforgiveness 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to concern about the fact 'before I contribute I already experience the energy of rejection. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because I expect rejection I doubt to contribute. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I I doubt to contribute because I experience my contribution as rejection. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I Devalue myself. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself To think I'm not good enough. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself That I expect criticism and rejection at any moment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I Developed friendly and helpful behavior to be appreciated. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself instead criticism I was longing for appreciation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my desire for appreciation is originated from the starting point of rejection. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience uncertainty when people appreciate my achievement. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking people manipulate me as soon as they appreciate my behavior or commitment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do not experience what commitment really Implies. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and myself allowed that I do not understand the understanding of commitment. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that commitment is a word within my mind That any moment can or will change 'vice versa' from idealization into Devaluation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I started thinking D Picked me out And provided me with undeserved negative treatment and guilt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming at the end I will always receive a negative reaction.

If and when I assume 'at the end I will always receive a negative reaction', then I Stop myself and Breath. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience the energy of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by the alternation of extraordinary idealization and devaluation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I was feeling negative and longed for positive Confirmation. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I was Longing for positive Confirmation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I blamed the one gave me a negative reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I expected That I would be idealized as a result of my achievement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself instead idealized I received the energy of Devaluation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my experience of being devaluated expanded.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because of this mechanism of Idealizing - Devaluing that I experienced myself Unsafe in this setting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my feelings of Devaluation overshadow the actual circumstances in here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when circumstances or people in me, evoking the energy of Devaluation, that I then devalue these people or circumstances. 

If and when my feelings of Devaluation Controlling me, then I Stop myself and Breath. 

I realize see and understand when I step into the splitting mechanism there the is energy involved, which refers to the aspects of Idealizing or Devaluation. The aspects of Idealizing or Devaluation which I notice in others as me. 

I realize see and understand when circumstances or people in me, evoking the energy of Devaluation, That I then devalue these people or circumstances.

I realize see and understand that I want to maintain a healthy lifestyle and healthy relationships. I need them.

I commit myself that I want to maintain a healthy lifestyle and healthy relationship with myself and others I need them.

Thanks for reading!

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