Day 679 What women tell me I experience as they are hypIocritical.

In my previous post I realize see and understand that I listen to people through the glasses of experience how a detective personality of extreme vigilance listens to a suspect. 

I realize see and understand that I expect that women are not to trust. In relation to reliability women are hypocrite. 

After A tells me something then I experience the thoughts, feelings and energy of it's Hypocritical. 

I realize see and understand that I Spoke to A that A should search at the internet, using a dating app, for another man. I realize see and understand that I told A that I with my permission offered A the opportunity to cheat on me. 

It was my responsibility that I listened to the words of A, through the glasses of ability and experience how the detective personality of extreme vigilance listens to a suspect. 

A is already my triggerpoint and suspect of mistrust. No doubt about it. 

Selfforgiveness 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I offered A the opportunity to cheat on me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself 'After women tell me I am trustful, then I experience the energy of hypocratie because I assume and think about that women in general are hypocrite. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I realize see and understand that I told A that A should search at the internet, via a dating app, for another man, and then I told A to cheat on me with that man. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking I am sure A will cheat on me that's why I told A to cheat on me with another man. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I told A to cheat on me because I am sure A will cheat on me anyway. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I told A to cheat on me Because A can't let me down anymore. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience the energy that A will let me down. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I assume A will let me down, then I told A afterwards, after A was cheating on me, that A should give me the details of the sex with another men. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I did not expected that A Got excited by my proposal. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I did this proposal because I have Trust issues struggling with confidence and projecting my idea of cheating. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I did this proposal which turned me on. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have the idea, which accumulated the energy of getting cheated because I have Trust issues. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I struggle with mistrust. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I struggle with confidence and then projecting my idea of cheating Not to be disappointed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and myself allowed thinking about if A does not cheat on me I will be disappointed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted I will be disappointed if A does not cheat on me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I no longer will be the victim of the circumstances if A does not cheat on me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the thoughts about that A will have sex with another men gives me positive energy. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have accepted my idea 'A will cheat on me anyway'. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming for sure I am in control with my expectation, and after I told A to cheat on me, it turns A on. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because of my idea that I (think) I decide and rule over A to cheat on me, this point of control gives me a positive adrenaline shot which turns me on. 

If and when my ideas turn me on, then I Stop myself and Breath. 

I realize see and understand that when my idea turns me on I lost contact with my body and Beingness. 

I commit myself that I have to work with this energy of thinking, assuming and expecting mistrust to which I am extremely vigilant. 

I commit myself that I need to Stop the control of my ideas within my mind existance. 

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