Day 678 mistrust to which I am extremely vigilant.

Epistemic mistrust: in the absence of trust. When there is no trust there is no capacity for change. 

Epistemic Trust (ET) is an individual's willingness to consider new knowledge as trustworthy and relevant, and therefore worth integrating into their lives. 

In contrast, epistemic mistrust is characterised by inflexible thinking patterns and a difficulty to learn from the social environment. 

Vigilant to others, from the point of view of being vigilant, mistrust is a strength and not a weakness and therefore hard to change. 

What happened

After I met A the points of mistrust poped-up in my mind. I became vigilant To find evidence for my mistrust expectation. So I can substantiate my expectation that I'm being cheated on. 

I realize see and understand that I act extremely vigilant to A. I doubt about and experience the energy of mistrust behind everything A says, the way A looks at me I observe if there is prove for it that A behaves without deeds of mistrust because before A tells me something I already doubt about the promises A makes. 

Assumption

For example I start Experiencing doubts when people say I am honest because people don't need to say I'm honest if they already are. 

Selfforgiveness 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I assume mistrust before A tells me something. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I already doubt about the promises A makes. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself before I experience mistrust I already participate within patterns of inflexible thinking. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do not experience trust when A is telling me about A's Plans. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself if I doubt about people who tend to speak about I'm honest the experience of being vigilant pops-up in my mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I listen to people through the glasses of experience how a detective personality of extreme vigilance listens to a suspect. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when the energy of being vigilant pop up in my mind because I start thinking 'when they are honest people don't need to say I'm honest'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed that in my mind I experience the energy of mistrust. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I somewhere made the decision that in my mind I experience the energy of mistrust. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience the energy of mistrust and started being vigilant which I decided someday because of the Example of people which acted hypocrite. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I developed the being vigilant personality after I interpreted People's behaviour as being hypocritical. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that the energy of this being vigilant personality pops-up in my mind, after I started thinking they are smiling when other people are around and behind doors they act aggressively and violent. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself I mistrust people after I saw them acting hypocrite. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I think people in general are hypocrite, if they are not 'people don't need to say I'm honest if they are'.

If and when people say I am honest, then I Stop my energy of mistrust and Breath. 

I realize see and understand that people don't need to say I'm honest, but if they are I will give them the benefits of my doubt because people can use this 'Stanza' just as a way to speak. 

I realize see and understand that I expect that women are not to trust In relation to the point of reliability. What people say I experience as hypocritical.

I realize see and understand that I said to A, Tha A should search at the internet, via a dating app, for another man I told A, with the reason that A starts to cheat on me with that man. 

I commit myself that I have to work with the energy of think, assume and expect mistrust to which I am extremely vigilant. 

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