Day 647 arch-nemesis.

It's not that hard to forgive someone, trusting someone is another matter. “Wonderful worlds are only waiting to be touched by one's consciousness.''

Lots of what was told, at the moment when it was told, then I already knew, because I already assumed after I started thinking 'this is bullshit, this is hypocrite, how they treat me.' And because I accepted what I assumed, that's why it became my Hypocrity. 

For sure, I grew up in an environment where the energy of conflict disturbed the harmony. On the other hand I was longing for Peace, calmness and harmony. Which is normal and healthy. What we mostly in our pictures at social media show to others. But my focus On the lack became my creation and the energy of conflict. Which became the energy and intention of Intentionally humiliation. For context please see my previous blog. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself I recognized my creation as Assumption within my mind 'people deliberately ridicules me.' 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that people ridicules me is the way I suppose. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that people don't ridicule me but my experience and expectation does. 

So this energy became part of my mind which let me experience the energy of insecurity and doubt. I developed this strategy To protect myself. To avoid criticism and rejection of my Beingness. Instead of careful answers And engagement I expect That I'm being ridiculed and humiliated. 

Someone triggered it. But what gets triggered already exist! Otherwise it couldn't been touched in the firstplace.

Ridicules others, the humans who ridiculed others considers themselves as superior. My assumption and opinion which I actually created all myself. There was always this point that I thought that people ridiculed me. Before I asked something I already assumed 'they will laugh at me and don't give an answer at wath I ask. This made me feel insecure. 

So When someone I ask gives an answer to my question, I am not sure if it's true. I realize see and understand it's about the doubt within my mind. This doubt which makes me feel insecure. Then I isolated myself I experience the energy of being ashamed. Then I decided to not go too parties anymore. And afterwards I felt guilty about my decision. Those choices to separate myself from life, all starts with my idea 'I'm being en will be, I experience myself miserable. This energy of feeling miserable made me think: 'I will be ridiculed, mostly in public, that's why I chose that I will avoid to be ridiculed, stay away and I don't step into public places.' The lock down felt to me like a breath of fresh air because I was no longer required to show my face in public. 

No longer required to be Ridiculed. 

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