Day 622 helping.

After some serious consideration What I experience when I feel indeterminacy, became my friction point, also 'my flagpoint', suppressed within my mind, as my desire because I am missing something, Designed As the word (see previous post) 'Helping'. 

Selfforgiveness 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself in my mind I am Assuming: 'they don't help nobody else to Achieve their goals'. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I blame them, they: (my parents) helping nobody else (me). 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I my assumption 'they don't help me, became: 'It is a general law that no one helps nobody to achieve their goals.' 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because I assume that nobody is helping unconditional, there are always preprogrammed issues involved that is why I think - I am nobody, nothing worthy, useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking/knowing that if one is helping, there is my condition which I assume that the giver of a helping hand always experiences a expectation, or desire or wanting to get something done for one self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that giving is directed by one's choice to receive something back. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because I helped my parents, before starting giving, I was feeling negative and insecure. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because I was insecure, I tried to please my parents, because I was longing for a positive reaction from them. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I start pleasing to feel appreciated, proud, Valuable welcome, A well done being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I depend on the feedback from others which should be positive. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I push people away. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because I am afraid They will dissapointing me, which I expect, so pushing them away, I am in control, avoiding the risk, that they will push me away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself That I attract people and then push them away again. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I push people away and then attract them and pleasing them again to no longer fleeing/pushing away. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that the purpose of pushing away, close the door and hide behind, is to protect myself to not feel like when I experience the energy of dissapointment, fear that others reject my needs. 

If I start attracting I will Stop myself and Breath. I realize see and understand that attracting pops-up as the reason after I feel guilty because I pushed someone or something away. 

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