DALKondersteuning

What is a convivial atmosphere, adjective: friendly; agreeable: a convivial atmosphere . fond of feasting, drinking, and merry company; jovial. of or befitting a feast; festive. The Appointment in my youth was, the agreement, arrangement, engagement, rendezvous, my parents learned me. What they learned me then I accepted to create a atmosphere of Conviviality.  On the other hand the atmosphere at home, which I experienced and interpret, for me it was very uncomfortable, uncertain, aggressive, in one word unhealthy.  When I stand equal with the meaning appointment,  which resonates with me then the word uncomfortable pops-up. Why should I believe that an appointment I made will stand? The appointment my parents told me creating Conviviality for the outerworld, for the customers, being good for them, and behind the Front door the opposite of Conviviality was the atmosphere, which I experienced as evil, unnatural, hypocrite and agressive!  Selfforgiveness ...

I realize, see and understand that I have a issue with appointments . This issue exist as Points of expectations, longing and desire within my mind. In this blog 'without blaming myself or the person I talk about' because I want to stand equal whit my inner turmoil.  Neglect where I was longing for.  I realize, see and understand that When someone changes the appointment as agreed, where we spoke about before, this implies a change for me within my expectation and what I want to achieve as my desire. When the appointment changes then my expectation change, and then I will get greedy, caused by the energy of expectation and desire as agreed as my mind expectation, because I want to achieve the circumstances as agreed within my mind.  I figured out during this writing, some deeper levels. At the end of writing this blog I realized this points: ' The experience of the energy of 'being scorned' was a decision I somewhere made in my life, this energy pops-up ...