Day 719 the words I use.

The words I use. 
If I assume I am useless then I need to be aware that I insult myself, each time when I realize that points of uselessness get triggered.

Get to be aware that If points of uselessness get activated then I experience the participation of the energy of insult. 

For example someone told me today: 'you are a weirdo.' I think this comment belongs to the theme of insult and aggression.'

What I can change is that I realize see and understand that the words I used about myself caused the energy of abuse. When I think about abuse I remember the use of aggression and violence which resulted in noise pollution. 

Synonyms: Anger, Enraged, Furious, Hate Ineffective, Invective, ironic, Misuse, Sarcastic. 
Opposite of abuse: Nurture. 
Opposite of Nurture: Neglect, non attendance. 

Attendance: Present with someone and helping or taking care of them. 

I realize see and understand that's why I became a saver. I was not realizing, not Fully aware of the fact that I was longing for someone needs to be, I started being present with someone, helping and taking care of them because of my desire To receive what I missed. But in order to receive, I must first face what I have missed. 

For context please see my previous post. 
Selfforgiveness 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not being aware in order to receive, I must first face what I have missed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming nurturing was neglected. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do not know what health care/nurturing is about. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I focus at the energy of non attendance of healthy nurturing. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I focus at the non attendance of healthy nurturing because of the fact that I expect abuse. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that the words I used about myself manifest and caused the abuse. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself because of my choice to use specific words, such as 'if I assume that I am useless, I have to realize see and understand that I then insult myself.'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking it's useless to Speak about the fact that I am suffer from noise pollution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking it is useless to speak about because nothing will change. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I blame because I assume it's useless to speak about because in this world also live retarded people. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself I realize see and understand that I insult them if I think talking with retarted people will be useless 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking talking with retarded people about change will be useless. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking 'talk about change with others about the points I have in mind will be useless.'

If and when I am thinking talking with retarded people about change will be useless, then I Stop myself and Breath. 

I realize see and understand I assume that talking with retarded people about change will be useless because this point they are causing noise pollution already has been talked about and nothing changed. 

I commit myself that I want to stop abusing myself. 

Thanks for reading! 


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