Day 661 hostility.

After The person, who I had an appointment with that day, appeared 15 minutes later as agreed without explanation or apologizing, and then told me 'we already make enough concessions', in myself I experienced the energy, the outburst of annoyance because I was disappointed about his behavior and the words he spoke to me. He behaved authoritarianally and dominantly. 


Then one day later I called him and I left a message in the voicemail of his telephone because I couldn't reach him after he send me a email. My goal the cessation of hostilities. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not explore my cessation of hostalities. 

If and when I participate as the energy of Hostility, then I Stop myself and Breath. 

I realize see and understand that I because of my mind participation in the energy of hostility, couldn't sleep anymore and woke up because of hard noises made by my neighbors at 5 o'clock in the morning, I wrote down the following words 'we already make enough concessions'. 

At the same moment a backchat popped up in my mind that I made a lot consessions in my life, concession to the wishes or demands of the opposing persons or organizations. Consesions which have harmed me. Which made me feel empty and Lost, like I lost my dignity. Because of what I admitted or gave up to resolve a conflict. What I admitted. 

I feelt disappointed that the person did not made appolagies after he arrived 15 minutes to late on our appointment. 

Then I feelt annoyed because he told me: 'we (the organization) made enough consessions'. I spoke with other people of this organization who agreed with the proposal I made. 

What I practical did was Measuring my blood pressure, before and after writing with an Blood pressure monitor. After The writing, So I checked is my blood pressure significantly lower. 

I commit myself that I have to stop the energy of hostility because I realize see and understand that I neglected the things I wanted to achieve. 

EQAFE Search for Anger




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