Day 677 why I assume cheating.

Cheating

Which are the reasons Under my assumption? 

My accepted assumtion That I assumed I need to listen to others, be polite, understanding and Accessible. I realize, see and understand I was thinking first I need to fulfill the needs of others. So I did! 

On the other hand I Missed reassurance. If I did the things told me did well. No feedback was provided on it. How could I know what I was doing was ok because after a while I didn't spoke about anymore what I experienced in moments walking Through the fields and forests When I was from home. For context please see my previous post. 

I never ever had the idea, or experience to understand what I meant, 'that people really knew what I meant, about how I felt, when I was a child'. 

Then I made my choice to developed the tension of mistrust in my mind. Which contains a signal to warn me in the event of impending trouble. The energetic battery within my Body and Beingness started Providing me with alarms as soon in moments Where in I experienced the energy of mistrust. 

Then I made the decision to blame others after I started to Gave people the drawbacks of my doubts instead the benefits. 

The behavior was changed into Predictably unpredictable situations. 

Drastic behavioral change I couldn't ignore or explain before. Then something happened. 

A fight Resulted in violence and aggression. After this experience then I got used to the idea and started to Assume: 'it's my responsibility. I'm guilty for. The idea of abuse was my fault I got used to. It became a assumption. Where I was focused at Day and night. 

I became indirectly exposed to that lifestyle of the idea within my mind. I became a victim of the circumstances. That's why I asked for professional psychological assistance. 

But I also became a cheater myself. Thereby feel that if I doing it and getting away with it, Another person who I not trust could be as well. So, my fears are also motivated by my own misdeeds. It's sad that I blamed others for that they were cheating on me. 

I realize see and understand that I have to tell A, lett A know how this energy of mistrust is affecting me. That mistrust hurts my feelings. If it doesn't stop I might part ways. It's better to just leave. 

Epistemic mistrust: in the absence of trust there is no capacity for change. 

Epistemic Trust (ET) is an individual's willingness to consider new knowledge as trustworthy and relevant, and therefore worth integrating into their lives. In contrast, epistemic mistrust is characterised by inflexible thinking patterns and a difficulty to learn from the social environment.

Selfforgiveness 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed That I experienced the energy of mistrust. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming that mistrust hurts my feelings. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself if the energy of mistrust doesn't stop I might part ways because I think It's better to just avoid and leave. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking because I think It's better to just avoid and leave that I in the past decided to walk away from the experience of mistrust. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience the energy of mistrust that's why I Gave people the drawbacks of my doubts instead the benefits. 

If and when I give people the drawbacks of my doubts, then I Stop myself and Breath.

I realize see and understand when I get overwhelmed by the energy of mistrust instead the benefits I'll be consumed by the energy mistrust then acting extremely vigilant to others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I experience myself like: 'in the absence of trust there is no capacity for change'. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I learned I had to listen, be polite, understanding and Accessible So that I would fulfill the needs of others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I distrust The intentions of a woman who promises me all sorts of things. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and myself allowed that I already experience the energy of distrust before a woman promises me something. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself after a women promise me something I already experience the energy of distrust. 

If and when I experience the energy of mistrust, then I Stop myself and Breath. 

I realize see and understand if I doesn't stop the energy of mistrust I might decide to part ways with A because I think It's better to just avoid the energy of mistrust and leave. 

I commit myself that I write more about mistrust and act vigilant in my next post: 

'Day 678 mistrust to which I am extremely vigilant'.

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