Oneness and Equality: Day 416: Who is Really in Control Here?

Oneness and Equality: Day 416: Who is Really in Control Here?: We Fear not having Control, we Fear others Controlling us, we Believe we have Control of ourselves, yet we accuse others of controlling us, ...

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Day 637 appointment.

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What is a convivial atmosphere, adjective: friendly; agreeable: a convivial atmosphere . fond of feasting, drinking, and merry company; jovial. of or befitting a feast; festive. The Appointment in my youth was, the agreement, arrangement, engagement, rendezvous, my parents learned me. What they learned me then I accepted to create a atmosphere of Conviviality.  On the other hand the atmosphere at home, which I experienced and interpret, for me it was very uncomfortable, uncertain, aggressive, in one word unhealthy.  When I stand equal with the meaning appointment,  which resonates with me then the word uncomfortable pops-up. Why should I believe that an appointment I made will stand? The appointment my parents told me creating Conviviality for the outerworld, for the customers, being good for them, and behind the Front door the opposite of Conviviality was the atmosphere, which I experienced as evil, unnatural, hypocrite and agressive!  Selfforgiveness ...
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Day 629 what is one's motivation for craving.

Craving  the motivation for craving is for example an subconscious idea which controls and reflects words, assumptions and thoughts within your mind. Why am I?’ will have the same influences from our   environment and our, reactions and behaviour to what we observe, try out and copy. We use the examples we follow to   justify why we behave in the same way.  An opinion, idea, a point within your mind, which tells you 'follow up my order', 'be submissive, you need to achieve what I tell', achieve me, as the meaning within craving explains, the examples of the 'craving personalities' Passionate desire.  The craving personality, what your mind Whisperer tells you to do. When you decide to follow up the mind instructor's story, instead staying sober, relapse Lurks around the corner. The story of the craver wich is supporting the Intakeurge, 'the urge to use, take-in', the use of the substance or behavior, compensation for what is missing . The LACK which...
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Day 689 in advance of my contribution.

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In my previous post: ' how thinks can be done '  I committed myself in the post to come, this one, I will write about my expection: 'in advance of my contribution I already experience rejection As a result of my contribution'.  I am learning to understand that others can think differently from what I think. As a child I was expecting and automatically think and assumed that others without my explanation could understand what I was thinking.  In elementary school, I had an experience. While and after I was playing in the schoolyard. The experience which I did not understood was that I was punished by my Teacher.  My playing, my Spontaneous contribution to the game with other children, I was punished because I hadn't heard the teacher's instruction that I had to stand in line. Because I did not she ordered me to Wait next to the entrance door of the Schoolbuilding. I waited there for three hours. In the Meantime A happening took place inside the sc...
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