Day 675 not available.

After visiting A we agree that we will chat later that day. When I contact A, A is not available. After I text A, A is Not responding. Then I text 'are you busy'. Then A is texting me back: 'I am chatting with someone else'. 

As you can read in my previous post about 'abandonment issues', I realized that my 'Trust in others can also be damaged' as soon as I assume that an agreement made is not being respected'. 

As a child I made this agreement with myself that people 'parents in general' should be able being available for the well care of their children and should respect this agreement as an unwritten promise, a principle to walk in word and deed. 

Selfforgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking, after I read the text message from A - 'I am chatting with someone else', are you cheating on me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking what A promised me A is not respecting. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking because A is busy and not available A is not respectful to me. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I As a child made an agreement with myself that people and parents in general should respect agreements as an unwritten promise, a principle to walk In word and deed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I expect that people have to respect agreements as an unwritten promise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that people should follow up a principle to walk as my expectation which I have in mind. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that people should follow-up the desire which I have in mind and in word and deed should be followed. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I Lose confidence in A. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I Lose confidence in A as soon as I assume that an agreement we made is not being respected by A.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself assuming if an agreement is made the agreement should be respected. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking the agreement should be respected and if not - 'I will not be respected (by A).'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself believing as soon as I assume that an agreement made is not respected in general I think I doubt people to trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am insecure to trust people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I doubt my experience to trust.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I doubt my experience to trust because my confidence to trust others is unstable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do not what I should respect as the agreements I make, what should be as an unwritten promise, a principle to walk In word and deed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I do not keep promises, what I expect others to do so, as an unwritten promise, a principle to walk in word and deed as the Requirement, the demand I have in mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have created Requirements as my demand I have in mind which others should have to Deliver.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking not available is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking that you are unavailable is unacceptable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself thinking you should be available as in moments I want you to do.

If and when I assume 'you should be available I want you to do so now', then I Stop myself and Breath.

I realize see and understand that this assumption: 'when I assume you should be available, I want you to do so Right now', I can't stop with one breath because this assumption is to big. 

I commit myself instead I can Stop myself and Breath I have to explore this assumption Deeper.

Desteni.org

Desteni DIP Lite proces